Hello, I’m back. To save you from reading this and wondering whats not ok, in summary, I had asthma attacks and was nearly admitted to hospital twice, then broke my ribs from coughing, then had a chest infection. I found out a few days ago that my Grandma is dying. But everything’s ok… or is it?
Sometimes things just aren’t ok and its hard to put things into words to explain why, so we answer the question ‘are you ok?’ with ‘yes’ but our heart is crying ‘no’. We can’t find the words to talk to God so we don’t pray, but all the time our aching heart is crying out to Him. God hears our words, but thankfully he also hears our hearts cry, and doesn’t need further words from us. Psalm 139 is reassuring in these situations, phrases such as ‘you discern my thoughts from afar’ and ‘Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether’ are reassuring. We don’t need many words to receive comfort from God, just an honest heart’s cry.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!